Case and point - as I am writing this I am listening to the beautiful elevator music that gets played while waiting on hold (I am at 26 min and counting) with the Oklahoma unemployment agency.
Cats outta the bag.
I have wrestled with writing about this experience or not - lets be honest its an ego blow to be laid off. What I realized though, is I am not the first or the last person to ever be laid off.
A week ago today I was told my services were no longer needed with my current employer. Though I knew lay offs were coming, I will be the first to say I didn't really think I would be effected. There was always this fear in the back of my mind that I would lose my job and then I would get a call asking for help, a new meeting request, or a problem to solve and that fear was squashed.
Getting laid off is such a roller coaster ride of emotions but one thing I have been completely astounded by is the love and support from friends and colleagues. I have joked a few times and said "If you ever want to know what it would be like if you died - just get laid off".
Here is the biggest thing I have learned lately: God blesses us even in the darkest of days.
Getting laid off was a complete blessing for me.
Yep, loosing my job has been a huge blessing for me. It has allowed me to refocus my career and really target what it is I want to do and where God wants me to be.
More importantly, getting laid off has pushed me closer to my savior. Trust is something that does not come naturally to me - its on the lower end of my competencies, if not the lowest. The easiest way to get me to trust something is to give me control. I know it will all work out better if you just let me do it....
Funny thing though, the definition of "faith" is to have complete TRUST or confidence in someone or something. So to have FAITH that my God will work all this together for my good and that he guides my path means I have to TRUST.
It also means I have to turn over the reigns. Uh.... about that. See these reigns are super glued, cemented, and then surgically implanted into my hands. To let go of them takes some major work. Daily work. Heck, hourly work. But then I hear him whisper in my ear "Sarah, let me bear your burden. Rest."
So thats where I am. Resting in his truths, exploring new opportunities inside and outside of my comfort zone, and allowing God to do the work. TRUSTING that he will make clear the path he has set before me. It isn't easy to let go. It isn't easy to not see immediate response. It isn't easy to wait, but I know that his direction is much more clear than anything I could ever try to create.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under Gods mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:6-7